One step at a time
Why

Enjoy it.
Enjoy everything and anything you experience. It sounds very basic, very played out, very corny. Tonight, however, it makes so much sense to me. You see, I have had a very rough time up until a month or two ago. You might even say I’m still in a semi-rough patch. I didn’t like my job, I hated my living conditions, I was (and still am) sitting on a $100K student loan, and have a few loans and collections my father took out in my name. You might think “Well, you got educated right? Get a real job you crybaby!” and you’re right. I do have the skills and training to build up a strong portfolio or make some phone calls to old friends who may still have hope for me. My current job makes it rather difficult to do so, and those old friends have all but lost hope for me let alone remember who I am. I digress, however, this isn’t about my schooling or downfalls. Tonight, this is about what I have realized and learned.

What I have realized…
Is that we, as human beings, will never blame ourselves for mistakes and errors we have caused. I see it everyday at work, on the news, and even amongst my friends. No human being can ever be responsible for any error they might have directly or indirectly caused. In realizing this I would like to say I can admit it. I am responsible for my own current failures, and shortcomings. My non-existent work ethic caused me to almost botch my graduation from school. I would like to think that I am different now, but I can still sense my slothful ways deep down inside me. I can succeed, but it will take a nice push.

What I have learned…
Is that our time is short. Again, a played out phrase that people always use when attempting to sound wise or intelligent. I used to think this phrase was verbal garbage, but tonight it struck a cord. I thought about all the people I’ve ever met, all the friends I’ve made, all the people I’ll probably never meet, and how we all exist. Think about all those dreams, fears, personalities, childhoods, likes, dislikes, hobbies, everything that makes up a person. Then think about it all ending. We aren’t allotted much time, but I would argue that it’s enough. Enough time to realize you need to male something of it. Just enough time to take a second shot at a lost dream, or a broken plan. Time always moves, so you have to want to make that change. You have to believe you can set out on your plan and complete it, or try again on a lost one. Thinking about it will only make it seem that much more daunting; finish what you set out to accomplish.


I guess I’m done. It’s been a good rant, and I hope someone reads this. I hope we all set out and finish what we started. I hope we all have our dreams come true. I hope, I really do.

The ancient Oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing
Socrates
Embodiment

Happiness. Success. Riches. Life.

I have a little of some and none of others. I used to head into it all with guns blazing while grabbing my balls and screaming at the top of my lungs. These days I’m played down; downtrodden and living under the nobles’ boots. I only have myself to blame for all of it. If I had tried harder. If I had listened to more lectures. If I had kept my carefree attitude in check. If if if if fucking if… No more if.

It’s now when.

When I get my skills back. When my worries are what project I’m working on next. When I can look back and see success instead of failure. When the pyramids are no longer build by my blood and sweat. When I’m where I should be.

I’m going to enjoy that much more. Feeling the warm summer sun on my skin, the cool breeze occasionally zipping by for temporary comfort. Seeing the perfect blue sky and wondering how to emulate it perfectly in my world.

I’m doing this.

The workers hard at work.

The workers hard at work.